Jacob is on his way to uncle Laban’s house, having just defrauded his brother. One evening, he uses a stone for a pillow and has a dream of a ladder (literally translated, a “ramp” or “stairway”) extending in to the heavens. Angels were ascending and descending.
The Lord then stands beside Jacob and promises he and his offspring land, as the Lord has done to almost everybody throughout Genesis. Jacob asks for protection, provision and peaceful return, which God grants.
The next morning, Jacob feels that the ground on which he slept is indeed a portal to heaven. He accepts the Lord as his, and pours oil over the rock on which he slept to turn it into a pillar, or sacred stone found in sanctuaries of the day. He calls the location “Bethel.” We will return to this place later in the Bible.
One may say that it’s not fair that, after being so cruel to his brother, Jacob gets in good with the Lord. This is true. It’s not fair. Shit happens, and sometimes horrible people have all the luck.
“Shit happens,” by the way, is another lesser-known theme that runs through the Bible, seldom discussed. I will point it out when it comes along.
Now comes my favorite part of the Jacob story because of it’s insight into the community structure of the Ancients. Jacob arrives in Haran at a well, where three flocks of sheep await to be watered. Jacob asks why the sheep aren’t drinking, as it’s getting late. Ancient custom dictates that everybody entitled to use the well must be there before the stone is rolled from its mouth. In fact, the stone was large enough that no ONE person could open it.
Who was everybody waiting for?
While Jacob was still speaking, Rachel came with her father’s sheep, for she kept them.” Gen 29:9
Indeed, Rachel is a working woman. Jacob falls in love immediately.
Jacob tells Laban he’ll work for him for seven years in exchange for Rachel’s hand in marriage. At the end of seven years, Laban brings Jacob a veiled bride, whom he marries. Surprise! It’s not Rachel, but Rachel’s older sister, Leah! Wah-wah horns for Jacob!
Ever determined, Jacob accepts the offer of another seven-year indentured servitude for Rachel in addition to Leah. Now, he’s married to both sisters.
Often overlooked: This is where Jacob gets his comeuppance for being mean to Esau. When he realizes he has married Leah, he asks Laban, “why have you deceived me?” Laban replies, “This is not done in our country – giving the younger [sister to be wed] before the firstborn.”
Indeed, whatever “rights of the firstborn” Jacob stole from Esau, he is now paying for by having to heed the “rights of the firstborn” for Leah.
During this second seven year tour of duty, Jacob has a lot of sex with a lot of people.
Jacob loves Rachel more that Leah. To counter this, Leah’s “womb is opened” by God while Rachel (like Sarah and Rebekah earlier) is barren. Leah has four kids, and with each one hopes that Jacob will love her best. Rachel is furious, and gives Jacob her maid, Bilhah, to screw. They have two kids. Leah, not to be outdone, gives her maid, Zilpah to Jacob. Zilpah has two kids by Jacob.
Leah’s son, Reuben, finds some mandrake root – thought to be a powerful aphrodisiac and fertility drug. Rachel wants it, and tells Leah that she can sleep with Jacob in exchange for the mandrake. The mandrake doesn’t make Rachel pregnant, but sex does make Leah pregnant. Thrice. She has two more sons, and then a daughter.
Finally, the curse of Rachel is lifted, and she has a son.
This begs the question… what else could Jacob have had time to do in seven years?
Next time: Rachel menstruates. Seriously. That’s a big part of the next part of the story.
Hmmmm, let’s see: John Wesley’s father fathered 21 children and had time to leave home for months at a time, once over political differences with Susanna, his wife (John’s mother), and John was conceived right after Samuel’s return home after that six-month jaunt. J. S. Bach fathered at least as many kids. Could it be that the reason the men found time to do more than procreate is that the women were “saddled” with far more than their humping husbands?